Playing in the Band
I've been doing this band thing for quite a while now. Since 1977 to be exact. I started touring in 1978 which continued onward into the early 1990's. Of course, there was a small break between then and now to prevent my probable demise. Playing music was my life and I identified with the lifestyle that went along with it. I practiced my excesses in ALL areas. "Excess is Best" was one of my mottoes. Along with "One is too close to none". Use your imagination. Life was one big party and playing music in a band was the vehicle I used to drive to Party City. Being out of control made me feel as though I had control. I did any and everything that I had ever wanted to do and had flocks of rent-a-friends patting me on the back to approve my behavior. Not that I needed any encouragement! I can remember being semi coherent after a gig. One of the girls I was with said to a band member "Don't you think he's had enough?". The band member replied, "He's a grown ass man!" and walked away. That was just fine with me because I didn't want anyone interrupting my fun. If someone questioned my condition then that would mean I'd have to take a look at it. This, of course, would be uncomfortable to my ego and self esteem. Plus, you'd ruin my buzz! The more I was left alone with my vices the better.
Today, I actually am a "Grown Ass Man". A grown ass man that takes responsibility for his actions, is no longer a womanizer, and plays music without the use of alcohol or mood and mind altering substances. I play for the music and not the party. The party is now a byproduct of the music. After a rehearsal last week I sat in my car and brought back to mind a time when rehearsal length depended upon how much cocaine and beer was there. If it was running short then I was done with rehearsal. I am only speaking of my actions. Many members didn't drink or use at all. This is not their story. It's mine. I am so very blessed to be able to look back at my life from a more peaceful and clearer view. I've been given a gift that I am able to share with others. My intention is to receive this talent (present) with humility and spread the ensuing divine vibration. Hopefully, to illuminate a dreary mood or two. I'm just play'n in the band. Again.