"A sober musician" is an oxymoron to me. I didn't know any sober musicians. Or , at least I didn't spend much time with sober musicians (or sober anyone for that matter). Not to say that the ones I did hang with were necessarily drunks or dope fiends - it's just that they would imbibe certain intoxicants now and then. I wasn't comfortable around people that didn't at least ingest a little something to take the edge off - like some weed, a Xanax, a 5 mg. valium or something! I thought everyone felt like this. I didn't have anything in common with those cats that didn't stay out all night. So, when it came time to make my decision to either die a drunk or live alcohol and drug free; the choice was not as easy as one might think it should be. Fear of being miserable and relegated to the same fate of those dull, non partying musicians, and squares in general, had me weighing the probability of my dying from alcohol and drug abuse a more likely choice. It wasn't until 2001, when sitting in a treatment center, that I heard something that initiated my first spark of faith that would change me from a hopeless dope fiend to a dopeless hope fiend. The 12 Promises, from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, was read during a house meeting. I was told that if I got sober, then eventually, these promises would come true in my life. I held onto that hope, I got busy working and living the steps, and today I can say, without any doubt, the "promised" promises have come true. In my subsequent blogs, I will list one of the 12 promises in order to expound upon and exemplify how they have manifested in my life. My purpose in doing so is not only to give others a "hope shot" to get clean but also to remind myself, yet, once again;
How Grateful I Am To be Here!
The 12 Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84 Reprinted from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous