The Twelve Promises #8
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
Mother's Day has never been an easy time for me since the passing of my Mom in 2008. I was fortunate enough to make direct amends to her before her passing. I continue to make living amends to her by staying sober. My living amends process to her will not be completed until I take my last sober breath. I have learned in this recovery process that when I start feeling caught up in morbid reflection or self pity that the best solution is to not focus on me but on someone else. I shift my focus of attention from "poor me" to "How can I be of service to you?". Something as simple as wishing another a Happy Mother's Day redirects my attention elsewhere. I learn to step out of my comfort zone and practice something different. When I do different things I get different results. Most of my life I gauged my actions upon how things would benefit me. Me, Me, Me, Me was my theme song. Today, I question how the situation affects another rather than only me. Don't get it wrong; the I, self and me battle for first dibs occasionally but not as prominently as before. Honestly, I can still be selfish and self-seeking but I recognize it and adjust accordingly. Trusting that a power greater than myself will take care of "my-self" helps disrupt the "Me First" mantra. So, has self-seeking slipped away? For the most part, yes. But, it hasn't vanished!
And for this, I am still Grateful!